Truths for mature(?) humans, hmmm

A coworker sent me this list the other day, I thought it was pretty good and thought I’d share. Some of you may have seen it before, maybe not. Either way, I provide commentary on some of my favorites. Some of these are hilarious, and like me, you’ll probably find yourself nodding at some and laughing hysterically at others. I’m not sold on the title of the list, for “mature” humans, hahaha. I don’t think I qualify for that. Oh well.

Enjoy!

(oh, my comments in parenthesis)

Truths For Mature Humans
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1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger. (Wish they would implement nap time in my office, I’d be out like a light everyday.)

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary? (I honestly can’t remember the last time I wrote in cursive.)

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. (Hence the reason I use Google Maps, Map Quest blows, haha.)

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired. (Oh how true it is.)

10. Bad decisions make good stories. (Not always.)

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. (Sometimes that’s around 7 in the morning, haha.)

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. (I’m not terrified, more like annoyed, especially after I just hit save.)

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring “Hello? Hello? Damn it!”, but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away? (I know numerous people who do this on a regular basis. It boggles my mind.)

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. (Nah, I blow the old numbers away and never pick up numbers I don’t recognize.)

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. (Right! I hate those Kay commercials.)

20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. (Eh, not so much, cause I seem to eat all the time, hehe.)

25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said? (Oh, one maybe two.)

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! (Hells yeah!)

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year? (Preach on preacher.)

29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. (Well, I think there are worse feelings, but that one is pretty bad. You know pain is coming real soon.)

30. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. (Not my watch since I don’t wear one, but my phone, yes.)

31. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! (This is an art form that I mastered years ago!)

Hope you enjoyed that!
Cheers!